By Sherif Attar
In a world of ever-changing ambiguity and uncertainty, executives have to face two challenges: excellent performance and people development. Where many managers think those endeavours are “competing”, this author believes they are “completing”. GET DOWN TO BUSINESS argues.
Adapted from Shankar Vedantam’s new book “Useful Delusions”
So self-deceiving has a power? Let’s see:
1. Self-deception can sometimes be good for you.
In the late 1960s, Donald Lowry, invented a series of characters – young women – he called “Angels.” Lowry began penning love letters in the voices of these Angels and sending them to thousands of men across the country. He formed an organisation called the Church of Love, and had 30,000 members. Those members were expected to send donations in return for those letters, and over the years, Lowry extracted hundreds of thousands of dollars.
When Lowry was arrested in the ’80s and put on trial for mail fraud, several members of the Church of Love showed up to speak in his defence. Why stand by the man who conned them? It turns out that for many, the letters they received were an important lifeline, a glimmer of hope that helped them stave of depression, anxiety, and, in some cases, suicide. While self-deception can do a great deal of harm, it can also do some good.
2. Delusional beliefs are vital for happiness.
50 per cent of marriages end in divorce, but if you ask a couple on their wedding day, “What are the odds that this isn’t going to work out?” it’s unlikely that they’ll give themselves a fifty-fifty shot. And that’s a good thing; people who believe their partners are more beautiful and compassionate than they really are, are likely to be in happier relationships than people who can see their partners’ true colours.
Many of us believe that our kids are extraordinary. This is useful because it buffers you against the blows of parenting. And this is whynature has seen fit to endow us with vast amounts of self-deception when it comes to people we love.
3. In arguments, self-deception can be more powerful than logic.
We often make the mistake of assuming that all arguments are best waged logically. But think about climate change; is presenting a climate change skeptic with yet another peer-reviewed study really going to change her mind? Of course not. If the first 677 peer-reviewed studies didn’t work on her, then why would the 678th study make any difference?
What we should aim instead is try to find ways to recruit the self-deceiving brain in the service of important causes. We see how well this works in sports. Where are the people who are willing to brave the freezing cold to cheer for their teams?
4. There are no atheists in foxholes.
A few months ago, I could literally see my vision disappearing before one of my eyes. At the time, I was far from home, and I couldn’t find a doctor. Miraculously, I managed to find an eye surgeon. He told me that I needed to be rushed into surgery immediately, or else I might lose my eye.
Of course, I put all of my faith in a total stranger. Luckily, he turned out to be a brilliant doctor, and he saved my eye. I had trusted him not because he was a great doctor, but because I was in a position of vulnerability. In moments of crisis, self-delusion can come to our aid;“There are no atheists in foxholes.”
5. Some delusions are dangerous, but logic alone can’t defeat them.
Rather than trying to defeat dangerous delusions with facts and logic, we should ask ourselves, “What is the psychological purpose this delusion is serving?” When your uncle tells you the government was behind 9/11, rather than argue with him, it might be better to start with compassion and empathy. What does the belief mean to him? What would happen if he gave it up? This approach won’t eradicate all conspiracy theories, but as we’ve seen over the last year, pelting conspiracy theories with logic is not only ineffective, but also counterproductive.
For questions or suggestions, please send your comments.
Sherif Attar, an independent management consultant/trainer and organisation development authority, delivers seminars in the US, Europe, Middle East and the Far East.
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