By Sherif Attar
In a world of ever-changing ambiguity and uncertainty, executives have to face two challenges: excellent performance and people development. Where many managers think those endeavours are “competing”, this author believes they are “completing”. GET DOWN TO BUSINESS argues.
Turning anger into performance
Anger is a normal and healthy emotion that could help us detect and respond to a threatening situation. When anger is properly channeled, it can be a powerful motivating force – we all know how hard we work to fix a problem.
However, it could also be an emotion that gets us out of control, leading to stress, distressand unhappiness. Uncontrolled anger can seriously harm personal and professional life, because it can become very destructive – to yourself and the people around.
In a modern workplace that demands trust and collaboration, it can easily cause great damage to working relationships.
Here we discuss an effective 12-step approach that helps direct anger constructively rather than destructively. Those 12steps are based on ideas of Duke University’s Redford Williams, MD, who co-authored the best-selling book Anger Kills.
Understanding the theory
Anger is a coping mechanism that we turn to whenever our goals are frustrated, or when we feel threat to ourselves or people, things and ideas we care about. It helps us react quickly and decisively in situations where there is no time for a careful analysis. And it can motivate us to solve problems, achieve goals, and remove threats.
Acting in anger can protect yourself or others. A positive response and constructive outcome can improve your self-esteem and self-confidence.
The Danger of anger – foolishness…
Negative responses can damage relationships and lead to a loss of respect. This is the case when we react instantly and angrily to what we perceive as threat, but where that perception is wrong,this can leave us looking very foolish.
So, we need to use anger positively, and manage it so that it is constructive and not destructive. Where situations are not immediately life-threatening, we need to calm down and evaluate the accuracy of our perceptions before channeling anger in a powerful but controlled way.
Anger management, then, is the process of learning how to “calm down” and diffuse the negative emotion of anger before it gets to a destructive level.
A subjective experience
People experience anger in many different ways and for many different reasons. What makes you angry may only mildly irritate one of your colleagues, and have little to no effect on another. This subjectivity can make anger difficult to understand and deal with; it also highlights that the response is down to you. So, anger management focuses on managing your response (rather than specific external factors). By learning to manage your anger, you can develop techniques to deal with and expel the negative response and emotions before it causes you serious stress, anxiety and discomfort.
Despite our differences in the level of anger we feel toward something, there are some universal causes of anger that include:
• Frustration of our goals
• Hurt
• Harassment
• Personal attack (mental or physical) on ourselves
• Threat to people, things or ideas that we hold dear.
We commonly experience these potential anger triggers in our daily lives. An appropriate level of anger that is expressed correctly helps us take the right action, solve the problem that is presenting itself, or deal with the situation in a positive manner. If we can learn to manage our anger, we will learn to express it appropriately and act constructively.
For questions or suggestions, please send your comments.
Sherif Attar, an independent management consultant/trainer and organisation development authority, delivers seminars in the US, Europe, Middle East and the Far East.
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