By Dr Laila Abdel Aal Alghalban
There is a deeply- seated misconception that is almost globally shared: women talk more. We are made to believe that women are so, although women in many parts in today’s world are still deprived of merely calling their husbands by names, out of fear that naming their husbands could invite bad luck and shorten their lives. In other areas, name avoidance is motivated by respect and abiding to inherited traditions. Thus, in such settings, it is not likely that a woman would speak more than a man. The problem is that men’s linguistic behaviour is regarded by everyone, including women, as the norm, the default and the standard model to follow. On the other hand, women’s linguistic behaviour is ‘marked’, a matter that instantly triggers an avalanche of laden stereotypes.
Treated differently
Generally, men sound more vulgar and outgoing; they have every right to vent their anger the way they like, including using foul, profane language. Women, in contrast, are denied that right. They are supposed to act politely and keep their feelings within. This is the stereotypical mental image of women everywhere.
Many women tennis stars, for instance, have pointed out that “men who call the umpires names are not usually penalised a game, if penalised at all.” We may recall the vehement attacks on Serena Williams’ remarks to the umpire in the US Open final for penalising her three times for her coach’s sideline act a few years ago. In this regard, tennis legend Billie Jean King commented: “When a woman is emotional, she’s hysterical’ and she’s penalised for it. When a man does the same, he’s ‘outspoken’ and there are no repercussions.”
That is so damaging
To uproot the power of misconceptions about women’s speech, we need a more balanced representation of women and men.
Overhearing sexism and gendered language definitely harms women’s self-esteem, pushing them to constantly question their abilities, shatters their self-confidence and curbs their chances of personal and professional development. Indeed, we need to value men and women equally.
Do women speak more than men?
We are socialised in a particular way and engulfed by some stereotypes: woman speak more; they say over apologetic expressions, use more indirect speech acts, and speak in a more tentative way, with more hedges such as ‘kinda’ and ‘just’ dotting their speaking turns in a bid to avoid sounding assertive, aggressive or authoritative. Women also put much effort to keep conversations going. However, their speech, views and even creative ideas are lightly taken up and largely underestimated. This attitude is almost prevalent universally, deeply ingrained.
What do studies say?
Strikingly, studies have not supported this stereotype; the vast majority of studies on male/female interaction, reviewed by Deborah James Janice Drakich (1993), have found that men talk more than women and that status is a more definitive factor in allocating speaking time for an individual, rather than gender. One study suggests that women talk more because their brains have higher levels of protein; however, this proves unreliable. Women talk to create and invest in human relations.
Invading women’s verbal space
In an article in Time magazine, Deborah Tannan, the renowned linguist who has conducted an array of studies and authored many best sellers in books on women’s language, maintains that women tend to talk more in private conversations with friends, but considerably less in public speaking and formal settings, discussion groups, academic seminars, business meetings and on professional topics. She also points out that in formal meetings women are given the floor less frequently than men and when they do get the floor, they are easily interrupted as they stop talking once another speaker finds a dialogue opening to hunt the floor and invade their verbal space.
Masculine gatekeeping
Moreover, men are the gatekeepers, they set the standards of interaction. Discrimination against women in academia, for instance, takes different subtle and blatant forms. Misconceptions about women’s language is a tough barrier to granting women equal recognition academically and professionally. Such an unfriendly environment pushes many females into a tight corner, branding them over-talkative.
It is not a matter of gender
Though research offers counter data suggesting that women do not talk more, the deeply ingrained misconceptions and the mental image of talkative women still unfairly persist. Such misconceptions would continue to shape and steer our ideologies, or popular cultures concerning gender relations.
In search of the real women’s language
Finally, what is the problem with female linguistic behaviour? We need to accept it the way it is. This is part of who women are. Moreover, women’s language must be given the healthy environment to grow and speak for itself. Only then will there be a real women’s language, rather than the biased, distorted one marred by repressive stereotypes.
By Dr Laila Abdel Aal Alghalban, Professor of linguistics, Faculty of Arts, Kafr el-sheikh University
Email: [email protected]
