“Should I have stayed in a marriage I hated for the sake of the children?”
Mother-of-two Soha Yassin asked herself this question repeatedly after she and her husband split, leaving her to shoulder the blame.
“Divorce was the only option for me, but I put the kids’ interests first and foremost,” she said.
When parents decide to end their marriage, the children often suffer emotionally, psychologically, socially and even physically.
A recent study by Arizona State University suggests a connection between the child’s fear of abandonment and her parent’s divorce.
The worry of being neglected as a reason for being exposed to parental conflict after the divorce might lead to mental health problems, the study says.
Youngsters who have a strong emotional bond with the father are hardest hit, the authors of the study say.
Soha Yassin told this newspaper that her son is always depressed and puts the blame on her and his father for not keeping the family together.
Children often suffer from the psychological impact during the first few years after the parents have parted company. Although some children seem to adapt to their new lives without father around, life will never be the same again after dad left.
As they to understand why they are shifted periodically between two homes, children tend to be emotionally distant from their parents is aroused due to divorce.
A study published in 2014 suggests that most children whose parents are separated feel less close to one parent – usually the father.
Some children might have to cope with other upheavals such as a change of school, moving house, and living with one parent. In addition, financial issues are also prevalent among the troubles kids experience when mummy and daddy no longer live under the same roof.
If there is no solution except divorce, parents should follow some useful tips to keep their children feel secure and loved.
A parent is on dangerous ground if s/he used the child as a messenger for the ex-spouse. Badmouthing the ex-husband in front of the children is taboo.
The mother’s feelings of stress after the split could well affect the relationship with the child. Divorce is often the cause of depression or anxiety in one or both parents, leading to an imbalance between work and child rearing and rendering the parent’s ability to provide with stability, care, and love for their offspring.
Meanwhile, a study by Virginia University suggests that children suffer only short-term. Anxiety, stress and low self-esteem are problems for up to two years after the parents’ split. Only a minority are still suffering after the first 24 months.
Also, another study shows that 25 percent of children whose parents are separated experience serious social, emotional or psychological issues comparing with only 10 per cent of those whose parents stay together.
“Children ought not to be victims of the choices adults make for them,” said Wade Horn, ex-US Assistant Secretary for Children and Families.
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