By Dr Laila Abdel Aal Alghalban
To communicate, humans are gifted with a stunning, yet puzzling, arsenal of tools: verbal and nonverbal. According to a famous study, human communication is only 7 per cent verbal and 93 per cent non-verbal, which means that we share with other animals an exceptionally rich and sophisticated communication system. More interestingly, “The non-verbal component is made up of body language (55 per cent) and tone of voice (38 per cent),” the study adds. It is crystal clear, thus, that nonverbal communication is more effective and less costly. There are over 9000 currently-used languages in the world, other thousands went extinct and sank into oblivion. The number of nonverbal behaviours humans can make could be described as infinite. It suffices to say that the number of facial expressions is about 250 000. Think about other behaviours such as gestures, posture, appearance, and so on.
Silence is a virtue
Silence is a virtue in many religions and cultures around the world. In Islam, it is a symbol of wisdom and strong intellect. Silence is a sort of worship. “Speak good or remain silent,” says Prophet Muhammad. The Magnificent Qur’an glorifies silence as a form of worship in the stories of Mary/ Maryam and Zakariya/ Zechariah. In Christian traditions, silence is cherished as a way of living with wholehearted devotion to God. The same is true of Judaism. Silence helps people turn to the Creator.
Let silence do the talking
In Asian cultures, where the value of the collective spirit prevails and individuals always come second, and due to the strict hierarchical structure of families and communities, silence prevails. People prefer listening and reflecting. “Silence is also speech,” says an African proverb. Africans go silent to send out a message of happiness. Other cultures are talkative; people cannot stand leaving speech gaps, where silence, dwells unfilled. Silence conveys, awkwardness and incontinence; it must be broken. Others fall in between.
A self-empowerment tool
“Speaking is silver, silence is gold,” says a known proverb that shows how much silence is desirable. Bruce Lee once said “the most powerful person is the one who listens, thinks and observes”. But why silence is considered a virtue. For many people, silence is a self-empowerment tool; it creates an air of mystery and unpredictability around them. They believe that the more you talk, the more you reveal of your personality and goals; you are an open book; people would not see you as a person of high value. Unfortunately it is engraved in our human nature to value the unknown and the hard -to-get.
Managing enemies
Another advantage silence offers is that it protects us from unnecessary mistakes. See, the more you talk the more you make mistakes and create tension with people and even, unnecessarily, make enemies. It is natural to have enemies. Silence, however, assists in managing enmity or differences before bursting your anger and lose control over your words. Remember to take a deep breath and do not talk until you are in sound mind as it may cost you a lot. Silent people are enigmatic. The shroud that covers their behaviours and the boundaries they set keep others at a distance and considerably slash potential hostilities and tensions.
A win-win situation
Another bonus about silence is that it is ironically beneficial as a social skill. It can make you very likable without so much effort. But how?! People like to talk about themselves. Going silent would make you a good listener as you create space and time for other people to express themselves without interruptions. This would make them feel special and in turn will create a positive experience about you in. It seems like a win-win situation here!!
Silence and taboos
Silence and taboos are inseparable. What makes a particular issue a taboo in a given society is that it is basically shrouded in secrecy. An act regarded a taboo in one culture, is not necessarily regarded the same way in other cultures. Sex, religion, disease, menstruation, age, women, touching shadow, eating in public, bullying, among other issues usually top the list of taboos worldwide. Interestingly, in Sweden, if you are rich, you should not talk about money; it is a taboo; it is a deeply rooted culture called ‘Jantelagen’. It is an uncomfortable topic that makes you sound snoopy. Swedes say that avoiding such a sensitive topic offers society more harmony and homogeneity, unlike other cultures, where it is so normal to boast about wealth.
Break the culture of silence
Sometimes, silence is a crime. The pervasive culture of fear and silence should be combated. We need to speak up. “When truth is replaced by silence, silence is a lie,” says the Russian poet Yevgeny Yevtuschenko. Humanity has to shatter silence over all forms of injustice, abuse, discrimination, and inequality.
By Dr Laila Abdel Aal Alghalban
Professor of linguistics
Faculty of Arts
Kafr el-sheikh University
Email: [email protected]
